Thursday, April 28, 2011

How Many Do You Have?

I stumbled across this list of characteristics of a healthy relationship online. There are 22 points listed. I went through the list and counted 12 that were completely missing from my former marriage. That's over half. And I lived like that for 22 years. The good news is that my present relationship includes every single point on the list. And what a difference it makes! I'm older, wiser and much happier now. Here's the list: 

Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship

  • You have fun
  • You are loved unconditionally
  • You are willing to work through conflicts
  • You receive encouragement for your abilities
  • Cooperation occurs
  • You are respected
  • Anger is expressed safely
  • Feelings are respected and talked about
  • There is willingness to negotiate
  • You have power despite your age or ability or gender or race or class or beliefs
  • You are treated as an Equal
  • Your small accomplishments are noted and celebrated
  • It is okay to make mistakes
  • You can freely say “I was wrong”
  • You are really listened to
  • Resources are shared Equally
  • There is affection and warmth, but never intrusion (e.g. of boundaries)
  • Your privacy is respected
  • Your mealtimes are calm and enjoyable
  • Your differences are respected and encouraged
  • You can be silly
  • You are honest with each other

1 comment:

  1. What a coincidence....I have all these too. We make an awesome couple!