Friday, May 20, 2011

Desk of Horrors

I have a story to tell. But it meanders around a fair amount before it gets to the main point. But the other points ARE worthwhile, so I'm telling it from the beginning. Please try to follow along.

Some time ago I stumbled upon a blog called The Thankful Project It's subject matter is mostly about how life improves when you regularly express gratitude. I was drawn to the idea (as I am to oh so many ideas!). In one of the blogs the writer shared a link to a website that is basically an online journal in which you daily write whatever you are thankful for. This has become regular practice now for both Karin and myself. Anyway, several days ago the blogger wrote about a situation she had found herself in that she didn't completely understand and wondered how it should best have been handled. She asked her readers for their thoughts on the matter. I wrote back and briefly commented. 

Yesterday I got an e-mail notifying me that I had a comment on my own most recent blog post. It turned out to be from the aforementioned blogger. Please note that prior to me commenting the other day on her post, I had never had any contact with this woman before. And I never thought I would ever have any reason to quite frankly. I read many many blogs that I never comment on or make my presence known. I just read. So I guess after reading my comment she was curious about me and visited my blog. I had just written about how I scattered I feel in wanting to do so many things and not being able to focus on any of them enough to accomplish much of anything. 

In addition to thanking me for my input on her blog, she told me that after reading mine she was reminded of herself at a year or so ago. She didn't want to push anything on me but she wanted to share with me a book that she had read and that had helped her. Well I am not one to turn down book recommendations! I've happened upon some of the best stuff that way. So I quickly checked the online library catalog and to my dismay they don't have even one copy of it. I looked it up on Amazon. It looked so amazing! All kinds of glowing reviews. The book is The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People With Too many Passions To Pick Just One. On the Amazon page for that book there were other books listed that were similar and recommended. So I looked one of them up at the library and not only did they carry it but it was on the shelf at my branch! So of course I rushed out and borrowed that copy pronto! I am not one to sit around when I get excited about something. I have to get to it....NOW. 

This particular book is Refuse To Choose!  I brought it home and got right into it. Within just a few pages I was overcome with relief. For the first time in my life I felt like I was seeing myself clearly and seeing that it's not just me and that it's okay to be this way. After being told I was a worthless lazy good-for-nothing (by my ex) and just generally not knowing anyone else like me who I could look up to, I took that attitude to heart. Thankfully I eventually met Karin. She has never treated me like that although I'm sure I have frustrated her at  times with my constant need for something "new" & "different". She has nonetheless indulged me on my whims. She supports my crazy passions and lets them run their course. She is my version of Utopia. 

We are finally coming around to the main point of this post. Something mentioned early on in the book is that people like me (she calls us scanners....always seeking out something else to learn about, create, tackle) are almost always messy & cluttered. It makes sense to us but frustrates those around us. It is a necessary part of who we are.I laughed out loud as I looked across the room to my desk, which is my "mission control center" for my life. It's a cluttered mess all right. But in my mind I have everything under control there. What's funny is that at work I can't stand for my area to be cluttered. I swipe all the "junk" off of my counter and put it inside the cabinet. Nothing but what must be there remains out. But that's not my "mission control center". That's just my professional workspace. Two completely different things. And the rest of our house is more or less orderly and uncluttered. I decided to document my desk as it is most of the time. Occasionally it is worse. Less often it is better. It is always the last thing I get to when I clean house. Here then is my little "desk of horrors".

Somehow the photo doesn't quite capture the full extent of the clutter. Trust's not pretty! It's amazing how much I can get done here though. I rarely feel compelled to tidy it up. It suits me pretty well. Bad thing is that it is in our living room, not hidden away somewhere. Having it somewhere else is not practical. So kudos to Karin for not killing me for this! I cook her really good food in return for the favor.   :)


  1. I'm so glad I could somehow indirectly lead you to a good book!! It's always good to feel that you're not alone in something. I remember I was really inspired by the book I told you about and some of the ideas expressed there made me want to act on them immediately - I'm now so in sync with my personality that has way too many interests.

    And yes, I am always curious about people who happen to come across my blog and stay for a while! But the thing is, if a passerby never makes themselves known, I might never discover them on my own. Whereas if I see a comment from someone or get an email, I'll be sure to reach out :)

  2. Getting the book too!