Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Soul Food

Something that has come out in my morning pages writing is that I really need to take a careful look at who I am allowing to be a regular part of my life. There are too many instances where I will hang with someone, read someones writings or make frequent contact with who really adds nothing positive to my life. And all too often they bring a lot of drama or negativity into it. My contact with those people needs to be either eliminated or seriously curtailed.  I can see where that might sound elitist or cold. But it's not a matter of being mean or being judgmental. I can be kind to these people, show them goodwill, wish them well and then move along. The point is that I don't need to feel compelled to bring them into my inner circle, to give them a front row seat to my life. I need to reserve those spaces for those whose values are more closely aligned with mine. This does not mean I only want to be around people just like me; I adore being with people who are different enough to show me new things and new ideas. But there needs to be an underlying vibe there that supports my growth as a person rather than detracts from it. And vice versa.

I'm planning to go through my facebook friends lists and see where there are those who I am hearing too much crap from and either remove them or at least hide them from view in my news feed. Even though I try to just ignore it, if it's there in your face all the time you can't help but be adversely affected by it. Even just the act of scrolling through the junk gets old. This includes some pages I have liked because I support their causes. I like to hear news on these issues but if it is overwhelmingly lashing out at adversaries then that begins to feel like a gigantic suckage of good energy into bad energy. Yes, I just made up my own word. Suckage. I like that! And I'm tired of being drawn into heated exchanges between different sides. I just don't need that. It distracts me from doing what I want and need to do.

I follow a lot of blogs too. And while most of them are not negative and they each relate in some way to stuff going on in my life, some just aren't bringing anything enriching to the table either. Those need to go. When I'm getting into something new I have a tendency to want to read EVERYONE to try to soak up as much info as I can. But once I have a better feel  for things I need to cull out the ones that don't completely captivate me. There is no reason why I can't learn for people who also share my values! And I'd rather throw the support their way. I've come across a few blogs recently that really do it for me. I want to hear more, more, more from them. It's like comparing Adele and Pitbull. I am drowning in a sea of Pitbull when what I want is Adele. So out with the cheap imitation and in with what feeds my soul!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

You're Okay. No REALLY. You Are!

~Youth has no age.~ Pablo Picasso

I hear a lot in my line of work. And something I hear way too much of is self-loathing. "What have I done to myself now?" "Getting old is terrible." "I am so fat. I apologize for my condition." "Please don't look at my awful varicose veins.""I'm sorry I haven't shaved my legs. I just haven't had time. I feel so bad." And the list goes on.

When you come in for a massage, you are not going on a date. You don't need to look perfect. Clean is always appreciated of course! But beyond that I really don't care. It doesn't have much of anything to do with anything. By bringing up these things you are just announcing to me that you are not comfortable in your own skin. I wish I could help my clients deal with their negative self-perceptions. But honestly it's not in my scope of practice to do that. I'm a massage therapist, not a psychotherapist! But it still kills me to see the degree of self hatred some people have.

I have one client who I have seen periodically over the years who is a woman probably about ten years older than me. When she first came in she could barely walk. After being in an accident, she had to have spinal surgery. It left her in a lot of pain. What with being unable to withstand much physical activity she gained a LOT of weight. That in turn put a lot of stress on her knees which made activity even harder. This is a common scenario that brings clients into us. A cycle of pain that seems impossible to stop. Naturally this takes an emotional toll on the person. The biggest thing about this client that stands out to me is the way she drones on and on during a session about getting "old". She says to me "never get old Brenda", "it's a terrible thing to get old", "they should warn people about getting old". It's a never ending loop of negativity about aging. I have the feeling with this client, that even if she wasn't in this cycle of pain she would still be negative. I think this because in the last year there has been considerable improvement in her condition. Weight is coming off, she is getting around a lot more and I can tell from our sessions that she is able to handle so much more bodywork. But nothing has changed at all in the attitude! She harps on herself incessantly.

~Soul is form and doth that body make.~ Ernest Holmes

There is another client I recently saw for the first time. She is my age or maybe slightly younger. She is my size overall, weight distributed differently but overall close (so we're talking considerably overweight....yeah I can say that about myself and not be negative!). She spent the entire session chastising herself for being so fat. She told me how she used to be fit and play tennis and that there used to be muscle under the fat. Now apparently the fat has just gobbled up those muscles (it's a wonder she can stand up on her own two feet....okay, that's me being sarcastic). As I would move on to a new area of her body she would mention the fatness of that specific area. "Oh my fat wings, maybe you can rub all that fat away", "oh my cottage cheese thighs", "have you ever seen such a fat ass?", etc.

Wow. What does one even say in response to all that? I'm sure as hell not going to join in. I might like to say something like "well if you hate your body so much why don't you do something about it?". But that would likely get me fired. And even trying to word it more "nicely" still crosses the line of what my job is. Maybe she assumed because I am fat too that she would have a kindred soul to share her angst with. Not happening here! I got over that years ago. My body may not be in ideal shape but it's still my body and it is the vessel that carries the heart of me. I will not treat it with hatred.

~Begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul. Look at those indicators of aging as merit badges and try to look past them into the part of yourself that has never aged and never will. ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

What I have noticed is that this form of self-abuse comes almost entirely from women. In this day and age of anti-bullying campaigns, I think we could use a little more focus on not bullying ourselves. But the message out there has not changed. Women are for looking at. They must stay young looking and thin. Anything else is just not acceptable. And women soak up that message and take it to heart from a very early age; even before they are women, still just girls. It's craziness. And we allow it.

I have other kinds of clients of course. They are a joy to see. They come in all shapes and sizes and ages. They are a joy because they love themselves. They might occasionally make little jokes about their age or their shape. But you can tell those jokes come from a place of self-acceptance and love. There is a twinkle in their eyes when they say it. More like they are letting you in on a private joke that only the lucky imperfect ones would get anyway. Oh those poor flawless beings! They have no idea of the character that imperfection builds! Giggles.......     We are happy to just be normal and unique and at peace.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

My Secret Phobia

I don't have a lot of phobias. There are things I fear of course, but for the most part they are healthy fears or what I would rather term "common sense caution". But I will confess right now to an extremely ridiculous phobia that I have. Ridiculous as it may be, it is very real and makes certain aspects of my life....well, stupid frankly!

We are a society addicted to phones. Not content to have access to them only at home, we now are tethered to them 24/7. And we use them for a bazillion things other than merely having a conversation. And I'm pretty cool with those other bazillion things for the most part. Especially texting. I love texting sooooooo freaking much! Why? Because it means I don't actually have to speak into the danged contraption. Sigh......there, I've said it. I will go to great lengths to avoid actually having to talk to someone on the phone. The thought of it makes me feel a little woozy. There are a small number of people I am completely comfortable talking to on the phone; they are my partner, my kids and those friends I have known the longest. Outside of that I would really prefer to just text.  If my phone rings and it shows up as a number not in my contacts, I will not answer it. Period. They can leave a voice mail and then we'll see. This is a tactic lots of us use but for me it's not only about avoiding those we don't want to communicate with at all. It also has to do with my general dread of a phone conversation.

The absolute worst for me is needing to call someone that I don't know at all. Such as when I need to schedule an appointment. Or call to get information I need. Or deal with a customer service person. Where this gets to be a big problem, is that the fear is so strong that I will put off making really important calls for things that really should not be taken lightly. For instance, putting off calling to schedule medical appointments. Or not calling about something that has the potential to affect me financially.

Typically, I will make the call when I absolutely must. Many years ago I had a close friend that was going through a very rough patch. I talked to him on the phone frequently. We had a conversation in which I became very concerned that he was suicidal. He lived over an hours drive from me so I couldn't get to him myself quickly. Not knowing what else to do I hung up from him and immediately called a suicide prevention hotline. I didn't even hesitate then. I just did it. They were great and gave me the information I needed and reassured me that he was most likely not going to hurt himself, but that it would be best for me to go ahead and drive out to him if I could. I was so glad I made that phone call. And so glad that in what felt like a life or death situation, my phobia did not stop me from doing what I needed to do.

This is the very first time I have told anyone other than my partner about this fear. It's a pretty embarrassing thing to admit to. I feel like most people would think it is incredibly foolish to be afraid of such a silly thing. And I have never really thought that anyone else had this problem. But recently I encountered someone else who admitted the very same thing. I was so surprised because she is a successful business owner and someone I respect a great deal. I decided to do some investigating and learned that this is a very real anxiety disorder. It sometimes goes hand in hand with general social anxiety disorder but not always. It comes in varying degrees. I am not alone!

I learned that it is common in those who were extremely shy as children, which includes myself. While I got over much of my shyness and do fine interacting with people face to face most of the time, the phone phobia has lingered on. What amazes me is that once I actually make the call I almost never have any fears during the conversation. I am fine. And relieved. So with a lifetime of experiencing nothing bad happening, why do I continue to feel so anxious about making a call? Just the unknown I guess. And maybe THIS time I will sound like an idiot. Who knows? I found websites that actually address how to cure yourself of this problem. Most of the tips are things I already do to some degree at least. Like having a script of what I want to say so that I won't have to think on my feet as much. Also psyching yourself up by recalling previous phone experiences that went well. Sometimes the only thing that does it for me is that I have to just WANT whatever it is bad enough to put myself through it. I usually will eventually make the call. It's just a long drawn out thing where I avoid, avoid, avoid, and avoid some more until my back is up against the wall. It would be nice to not go through that in the first place. Every now and then I surprise myself by calling right away. But not often enough!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The End

My creepy admirer will not be harassing me any more. I am relieved. And annoyed that he became such an issue. The owners wanted my bosses to have a chat with me yesterday. This is what I found out:

~ The owners would have preferred that I had stopped the session. Even though I did NOT feel that was what they had led me to believe I should have done in this case. I felt they had been clear that I was only to stop the session if I felt a line had been crossed, not if I was only getting weird signals from the client and that limits were being tested. Sigh....

~ The big reason I think why they wished I had stopped things is that he has absolutely refused to see another therapist, even at a different location. Because of this they decided to refund him his membership fees which had been paid in full for the year. Had he just quietly agreed to see someone else, they would not have had to have "the" conversation with him about why I would not be available to see him and things would not have escalated to this point. Well how was I to know? I still think I did the right thing.

~ I was told that from here on out if I feel uncomfortable with a client at all, just end it. Okie dokie! I kind of wish I had that in writing. I can just hear them changing their tune.

~  One of the owners had a conversation with him in which he was furious at what was going on. At first he was telling them they needed to fire me! And then he changed his mind and told them that I had such a gift and needed to be able to continue my work. Then he got sad and said he was heartbroken because he thought we had such a spiritual connection. Oh my. It is bad enough that he had told me that. And then he shared that with one of the owners? And she felt sorry for him!

~ I could have lost my job if I had agreed to put the self-tanning lotion on him! I knew it was a bad idea but did not know it was something they would have taken to that extreme. I'm thinking maybe they should have a clear cut policy on that type of thing if that's how it would have gone down. Good grief.

So that concludes (hopefully) my most recent work related drama. I try so hard to keep fly under the radar there and mind my own business and just generally do my job without getting entangled in the politics of the place. So here's hoping I can just get back to that!

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Saga Continues

Last fall I had a difficult client at work. To refresh you memory check here: the first visit . Almost seven months went by without a visit from him. I think I assumed he had realized he wasn't getting what he came for and went elsewhere. Then last weekend I went up front to get a client. And. There. He. Was. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. I hadn't recognized his name but as soon as I saw him it all came back. So back we go to the room. I am in  no mood to even try to be nice this time around. I see on his chart that only one other therapist is listed as having worked on him. And nothing from his visit with me is there. So I know that this is not the original chart (most likely misplaced by front desk, an all too common problem which leaves us with no record of prior care to go on). This means I have absolutely no idea how many therapists have dealt with him and no way of knowing if any of them had any problems with him.

So he is carrying with him a bottle of lotion. Not too unusual. Some clients bring their own and request that you use it instead of what we have. Not a big fan of that because so often whatever it is does not work well for massage. But whatever. When he hands it to me I realize it is sunless tanning lotion! He gives me this sob story about how he can't be in the sun because of medication he takes and that he is ridiculed for being pale (please remember, this is an older man....not some kid). He lives alone and has no one to rub this stuff on him so that he can look tan and healthy. I am not exaggerating when I say he was practically crying about this horrible problem. I calmly explain to him the reasons why me using this lotion is a bad idea.

1. Absorbs in very quickly which means it will make a lousy massage lotion
2. Will stain my own hands and arms
3. Will stain our sheets

And number 4 I did not tell him but wanted to scream.......I am not paid to be your tan applicator! There are places you can go where that is what they do...spray nasty chemicals all over your body to give you a fake tan! Go there for crying out loud!!! Sigh.........   Then he starts begging me and actually arguing about it. Oh and then, he tells me that the last therapist he saw shorted him 20 minutes. So he takes out a stop watch and starts timing me! Never mind the fact that *I* wasn't the one who shorted him, I have been officially informed that he will be keeping tabs on me. Yeah, I am just done with him at this point and we hadn't even started.

Finally I get to work on him. He is lying face down to start. He has the blanket off again, no big deal. I just have to be more careful. The sheet is just sitting below his butt crack. Our protocol is no butt crack visible. As you're working on a client it is extremely common for covers to shift around somewhat, exposing some butt crack at times. It's usually no big deal,  no cause for alarm certainly. Just cover them back up, no harm done. With this guy I know I will have to be VERY diligent in keeping the upper hand and in not letting him think for a split second that I am cool with ANY slips. So right from the start I am yanking that sheet up over him further. And as I work he keeps in almost constant motion, first raising up one hip and then the other, till that sheet sure enough slides down. I keep yanking it up. After a few times he says to me "Brenda you don't have to worry about the sheet. I'm not embarrassed.". I replied, very professionally, "That may be but I have to keep you covered." So it happens again. I pull it up again. And he says "I'm really not bothered by it. You can leave it down". I tell him very emphatically "No, I cannot work on you uncovered". I'm about ready to pull the plug on the session but he finally settles down and leaves things alone.

There is occasional conversation in which he asks me if I'm married (of course I lie and say yes cause I'm not stupid!), and do I give my husband massages. Now it should be noted that many clients ask similar questions. But they are not clients with a history of creepy behavior. Makes all the difference in the world! He also asked me if it's different working on men than on women. Okay that question seriously creeped me out. My response was "no, there is no reason why it would be". To which he replied "hmmm....interesting". Interesting? Really??? Why? It's not like I'm having sex with my clients you cretin!!! And truly what I would like to have said is that yes it IS different, because I have never had to deal with this crap from a female client.

When I had finished up working on his back/neck/shoulder area while face down, he all of a sudden says to me that he is going to be getting an MRI. I ask him why and he says it's because he was in an accident a couple of days ago. Oh hello! You tell me this AFTER I work on all those nice areas which quite possible are injured??? If that's even true though, because he couldn't seem to remember which day it happened on. And he hadn't been looked over but in a phone conversation with his doctor he was told he should have an MRI. All sounds really weird to me. But the point is I can't trust this client to tell me important things.

Then when I had him face up a whole new problem arose (no, not THAT....lol). He fell asleep. Which normally with a client like this would be a blessing. But in his case it made things more difficult. I soon realized he had pretty severe sleep apnea. He would stop breathing. And I would have to watch him carefully to see that breathing resumed. Many times he would go so long that I could see his whole body begin to struggle for oxygen. Then I would have to go and reposition his head to get his airway opened up again. One of the times he came around and complained about the sleep apnea. Of course he had not bothered to inform me before the session that he had this problem! So then I knew that he was aware of the issue. That really pissed me off. I give clients every opportunity to let me know about things like that before we start.

When I had to wake him up to let him know we were done, he yelled out "what! 90 minutes already???" I said "nope. 80  minutes of hands on time is what you get here". I didn't even begin to apologize or be nice about it either. I was so fed up by then. But when he was leaving he practically bowed down to me while telling me how awesome I was, that I was the "master", a "goddess", that I had taken him to five levels of dreaming (no....I don't make this stuff up, I swear!). I was thinking "more like five levels of oxygen deprivation"! He said he never wanted to see another therapist ever. That he would follow me always. GULP. Things is, I know this time that it wasn't because I did a good job. I did nothing but go through the motions this time. I was seething silently through this whole session. So when he stood there saying all those things it felt more like being told "I own you bitch". I got news for him. If he ever comes near me again he will be sorry.

We have a form at work that we fill out if we need to request to not see a certain client again. This is for cases like mine where the client didn't actually DO anything like grab me or ask for sexual favors or touch himself. In those cases we end the session, leave the room and management handles it from there. But in my case I fill out this form documenting my reasons for not wanting to work on them again. And I guess then if they get enough complaints they get rid of the client (theoretically). We just had a meeting a few short weeks ago where this was the main topic of the meeting. The owners tried to assure us that they would always see to it that we never had to feel uncomfortable or worry about being assigned to these people again. So coming off of that meeting I was cautiously optimistic that things would be handled quickly and professionally. Oh I really should have know better! I filled out the form before leaving work that day. The assistant manager who took it said she would give it to the manager. When I checked my upcoming schedule I saw that this guy was already back on my schedule for just a week later. I kept calm because I knew no one had had a chance to take care of it yet. A couple of days ago I gave my manager a call to see what was going on. She hadn't even heard about it! There is a book that all incidents are supposed to be put in so she can look through and know what's going on. It hadn't been put in there. So she told me she was going to get it dealt with right away and didn't have to worry. I would most assuredly not have to work on him again. Today (the day before he was on my books again) I got a call from one of the assistant managers. He said he had called the guy to get him to reschedule with someone else (they waited until the day before???). The man was adamant that he did not want to see anyone other than me. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that this guy has been a problem for other therapists and they were much ruder to him which is why he insists on seeing me. That's what I get for trying to be professional and calm. So this assistant manager asked me if I would be okay with working on him one last time. WTF???????????  No...I would  NOT be willing to do that. I told him under no uncertain terms I had been promised that I would NOT be asked to do that. I held my ground. He said he would hand it over to the manager. Yeah. You do that buddy.

If I walk into work tomorrow and that man is still on my schedule I will turn around and walk back out. End of story. Stay tuned.     :)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Always An Apple

I'm a massage therapist. It's a great profession for me. I'm extremely comfortable touching human bodies (the living breathing ones anyway). There are all kinds of interesting things about what I do. One of those things is the exposure to such a wide variety of body types. This is a huge drawback to a lot of people. But I like it. So many people are icked out by anything "unusual". Although I would argue that it's probably not that unusual. It's just not what we are exposed to in the images we are bombarded with in the media. As someone with previous experience in the nudist lifestyle, I had a jump start on what to expect. Trust me, it's not just the "beautiful" people who enjoy being free. The media absolutely sucks at being realistic. And that is a dirty rotten shame. They could be using their power for good, like helping people to be more comfortable in their own skin. But instead they just amp up the self loathing for people who honestly are FINE just the way they are.

To take this to a more personal level I'll tell a little story. My home massage studio is a guest bedroom that has great big mirrored closet doors. So while I'm working I can watch myself. It's a little strange. I use an exercise ball as my stool when I am sitting down. So I look into the mirror and see this big ol' ball. And sitting on that ball is my roly poly body. My mid section is just like another big round ball on top of a big round ball. It kind of cracks me up. I could just get all depressed about that. But the thing is, I also see that same body doing some great work. I have some pretty sweet body mechanics going on. I am pleased to see that. I move well and give a nicely flowing massage. My body, the same one that doesn't meet with approval from the general population, is more than capable of doing a great many wonderful things. And then there's this. Even when I weighed a lot less, my shape was the exact same. Proportionally large mid section with stick arms and legs. That's just my shape. Apple. Sometimes I'm a large apple and sometimes I'm a smaller apple. But I'm still an apple. So my apple-ness is a part of me. I may as well embrace it.

I'm going to be brutally honest. Bodies that all look basically the same.....are BORING! Do you only want grapes in your fruit salad? Come on....you know you want some pears and apples and strawberries and pineapples and melons in there too! Please....keep (and love) some of what makes you different. It makes you memorable and interesting. It gives the person seeing you something to notice, something to become fascinated with. Yes.... get healthy. But realize that part of being healthy is being accepting of yourself and that which makes you YOU. And don't hide yourself away from the world. Don't be afraid to have people take pictures of you. The more you hide; the less realistic of a picture we have of humanity. Be proud. Be visible. Be real. Show the world the truth.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Cool & Calm

Yesterday the air conditioning went out on my car. On the 1st over 100 degree day here in Tucson. Of course. But the good news is that I am not freaking out over this. Don't yet know what the problem is and frankly am just not even going to deal with it until we get back from our trip next month. Right now our funds are tied up in that trip. Our neighbor says she has a very good AC repair place that is very reasonably priced. Will take my baby there next month and find out what the damages are and deal with it then. Right now I only HAVE to drive my car twice a week for my short five minute commute to work. So I can survive that I am pretty sure. The rest of the time Karins' car will take us where ever we need to go in air conditioned style. I'm pretty darned proud of myself for not going all postal over this. It's just another blip on the radar, ya know what I mean?     :)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

New Tricks

Thought I'd do something new. Came across a list of writing prompts online and thought I'd try that out. I'm also adding pictures for the first time. Cool beans! This the prompt I decided to go with.

Have you ever done something just to feel the danger, or to feel alive?


Danger is not something I've really ever sought out. I was a very cautious kid. At the same time though I was most certainly a thrill seeking kid. Roller coasters were my idea of heaven. I liked to swing so high that the swing set started to come up out of the ground. But those things didn't feel dangerous to me. They were just fun and felt like what I imagined flying to feel like. 


Fast forward to adult life. Still not really into danger. But......I have become rather fond of facing fears and doing things I never would have thought I had in me to do. And doing those things did very much make me feel alive. And that is a very good thing in my opinion. 


One summer my ex and I took the kids to the New River Gorge in West Virgina which is home to some of the best white water rapids as well as being a big place for mountain biking, rock climbing and rappelling. I wasn't planning on anything other than the raft trip for myself. That was going to be pushing my limits as it was. So we did the raft trip. Oh boy did I ever feel alive! Kind of like they told us at our orientation, this isn't a ride at Disney World. No sooner were we in the first scary section than I was tossed overboard. Hoo boy....the adrenaline was flowing! I wasn't exactly alone. A lot of rafters got tossed there. And we all survived. Thought they'd never get my butt dragged back up into the raft though. It was good for a lot of laughs later. Especially since I have video footage of it. They had some guy running ahead on the bank of the river and video taping at all the hot spots. 


Here I am before boarding the short bus to take me to my doom. Click on pictures to enlarge.



And here I am on the raft, most probably before being unceremoniously dumped.


And finally after surviving the trip (yes, that's one of my offspring doing to her best to look like she belongs on a short bus).



The next day was rappelling day. My ex and two of the kids were already experienced at that and had brought their gear. Since the middle child could not be convinced to give it a try her role was that of the belayer (person who controls the ropes from the bottom of the drop). She was used to doing that and I was going to help her. My ex had asked me at some point prior to that day if I was sure I didn't want to try. I assured him there was no way on earth. And then that morning.....I don't even know what possessed me, but all of a sudden I told him I would try it if he could find a not very high drop. His eyes lit up and I knew it would be his mission to find a suitable drop. And he did. And it was right next to a much higher drop so everyone could have "fun". If I remember correctly it was only about a 30 ft. drop. Looking up from the bottom it looked like a piece of cake. However, once up at the top, looking down was another story. Now would be a good time to mention that I have no great fear of heights; provided there is something to keep me from falling, such as a simple rail. I adore the view from way up high. What I do have an extreme fear of is falling. I've taken a lot of spills in my life and been hurt quite a few times. None of those falls were from high up. I hate ladders and even step stools are scary to me. I don't like any unsteady footing. So there I am at the top of the cliff. In order to start things off you have to go out to the very edge, turn around (so now you are blind to the drop), drop your heals off the edge while leaning backwards and then push off. So basically, I had to make myself fall....on purpose! Yeah, that realization hadn't quite dawned on me until I was up there. Teresa was down at the bottom with the ropes. And we had brought along some neighboring campers since they wanted to check it out. So great, I even had an audience. It took the most ridiculous amount of coaxing to get me to push off of that ledge. My legs were shaking like crazy and my heart was in my throat. I was so petrified that I really couldn't control my movements at all. So I was just sort of swaying around for what seemed like an eternity. At some point, with Teresa's help I'm sure, I got it under control and completed the drop. Did I feel alive? You had better believe it. And damn happy to be on the ground. 

Here I am at the top.


Here I am just pushing off. Note the terror on my face now!


And now on my way down. And I'm not crazily swinging around. Maybe I just imagined that?


And a close-up. Wow. I don't LOOK stressed out of my mind. Trust me. I was!



After all was said and done, I didn't regret any of it. Why would I? I may not have found a new hobby but I did push myself past some fears. I got that wonderful alive feeling and learned that you can do things that terrify you and yet survive. And I made my kids' day. They were cheering!



Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Getting It Off My Chest Because That's What Blogs Are For, Right?

Below is what I wanted to post on facebook. But I refrained from doing so because I knew it would piss off too many people. I can't believe how many people do this constantly. Drives me batty!

"You do realize that when you "like" that big corporate product such as Febreeze for example, you're doing nothing but giving that company free advertising, right? Are they so strapped for cash that they need charity from you, the consumer? Not likely! Don't be such sheep. Use that "like" feature with discretion, for things that that you really believe in and want to spread the word and they could use a helping hand to get off the ground. Okay....off my non-branded soapbox. "

Aren't I considerate for not antagonizing my facebook friends?    :)